Letting Go
by Autumn Leaf Ninja
Summary: Two warriors, one born in the Clan and the other a former kittypet, have been best friends for many moons. However, when one of them starts to feel differently about Clan life, would the other really be willing to let them go?


"What do you think you're doing up there?" my best friend calls up to me. I'm unsure of how to reply to that, since I don't really know what I'm doing either. At the moment, I'm at the edge of the cliff, precariously close to falling off. Of course, the fear of death is natural to me, as it is to most, so I don't see myself stepping off, but still… How long have I been standing here? Seriously, what am I doing here? I don't even remember making the trip over here, since the cliff is a fair distance away from camp. I remember being asleep just a moment ago, but apparently I have been awake. Did I want to die at some point in my dream, causing me to sleepwalk all the way over here?

I still have no idea, so I decide to just step down and make it back to the camp before the patrols are sorted out. If I'm not there in the morning, they might send out a search patrol, which would be a waste of cats, and I don't want to be a burden to my Clan… When I'm at the bottom, where my best friend, Darkfire, is waiting for me, she greets me with her head tipped to the side curiously and inquiring eyes, her thin dark brown fur fluffed up to keep her warm in the leaf-bare chill. My own fur, long and ginger, keeps me warm enough as it is.

"Before you ask me again," I begin, "I have no idea why I was there."

"Stupid fur ball," she sighs, shaking her head. "You could have fallen over."

My shoulders sag. I really do hate when she lectures me. "But of course, I wouldn't have fallen over, since I would've realized what I was doing and came back to my senses."

"Oh?" she replies, unafraid of showing how little faith she has in me.

"Mm-hmm," I insist.

"You really are stupid, Redtail, to think like that. Can we leave? It's cold up here."

I let out a _mrrow_ of amusement at the sight of her shivering. "You really should try to grow that fur out, kittypet."

Her back arches at my words. With a hiss, she snaps at me, "I'm not a kittypet anymore, stupid. I'm going!"

With a sigh, I follow her, keeping my distance from her lashing tail so that it doesn't accidentally on purpose whack me in the face.

Back at camp, which I don't and can't remember leaving in the first place, my annoying brother, Goldenfur, a dumb, boisterous pale ginger (and thus almost golden-furred) tom, greets us. Running into him at the start of the day isn't exactly pleasant.

"_No way!_" he exclaims loudly upon seeing and approaching us, obtaining the attention of several other cats who were in the camp clearing awaiting the deputy, who is to give out the daily patrol assignments as usual. "You two snuck out of camp together?!" His partner, the beautiful but hideously stupid Snowstripe, runs to his side to support his false accusations with a gasp.

"Shut up, Goldenfur!" I hiss at him. "Darkfire was out and saw me standing alone by the cliff this morning and we came back together, is all."

"Dear brother, at our age, these feelings are normal," he meows, trying my patience and, as usual, attracting a crowd of curious cats around us. "So can we expect kittens or what?"

At that last bit, Darkfire steps forward angrily. "Can I kill him or what?" she asks, turning her head to look at me after glaring furiously at my brother.

"You should, but he's not worth it," I tell her. I would have invited her to hunt, but we might have to go a patrol. Instead, I continue meowing to my brother, "And you shouldn't be expecting kittens, unless they're yours." I glance at Snowstripe, who looks thoroughly amused by our exchange of words, and then look back at him.

"Foolish brother," he sighs, "making jabs as weak as that. You see, we already _are_ expecting kits!" he announces contentedly. Some of the onlookers gasp, while others purr giddily.

Not knowing that Snowstripe and Goldenfur were in love and therefore not expecting her to have his kits, I turn to her and stare at her belly, which might have been swelling a tiny bit, but not quite so noticeably yet.

"Wow, they sure are something else," breathes Darkfire, just loud enough for me to hear the words. The fur along her spine was still bristling, indicating that she's still angry at my brother and maybe also at me for earlier.

"Don't be jealous, brother," coos Goldenfur. "You two can still—"

"What's going on?" Grayfeather, the deputy, asks loudly, cutting Goldenfur off in the middle of his next line as he approached.

"Oh, we were just announcing our kits to this other lovely couple!" my moronic brother purrs to him, gesturing toward us with his eyes.

"Grayfeather, can you send me on a patrol so I don't kill him?" my companion, who is _not_ my mate, seethes.

"Of course I can," the deputy assures her. "The dawn patrol is going to be setting out a bit later than usual, unfortunately, as my meeting with the senior warriors took up quite some time. I apologize for the delay," he says to all the cats around.

I would have volunteered to go with Darkfire, but I could feel some tension in the air between us because of what Goldenfur had said.

Grayfeather announces, "It's about time to sort out all the patrols." He begins his task, putting Darkfire on the dawn patrol with Goldenfur and some others and me on a hunting patrol with Snowstripe, who could still do her regular warrior duties, and some others. _Oh, I'm with Snowstripe? How delightful for me!_ I think resentfully. Darkfire and I exchange a look, showing our bitterness to each other. Grayfeather, having noticed the look that passed between us, sighs, but does nothing about our perturbed response.

The patrols set out together and branch out once we're out of the camp. As I had been expecting, Snowstripe was keeping pace with me the whole time. I didn't see why, though, since we're supposed to be hunting and there is no way I'll tell her anything she would be interested in hearing. Perhaps she wants me to feel like I'm being watched. In any case, I certainly do. When our patrol reaches its destination, we split into groups of two. I cease this opportunity to hurriedly join my friend Brackenheart, a friendly dark brown tabby tom, and distance myself from my brother's annoying lover.

When Brackenheart and I find our own area for hunting, he says to me in a low voice, "I was asleep, but Dawntail told me that something happened between you and Darkfire, Snowstripe, and Goldenfur. Is everything alright?"

I sigh and reply, "I guess so. I mean, my brother bothers us all the time, so it's not a big deal. It just doesn't really help Darkfire settle into the Clan. Sometimes I wonder if that's my fault, since she became my best friend when she joined us."

"Don't be ridiculous. Darkfire has a lot of spirit. I doubt Goldenfur will make her regret joining. He's always been like that with you two, and she stopped being a kittypet to join us many moons ago. Anyway," he continues in a lighter tone, "what's the situation between you two? I think you're old enough to have a mate already. I'm a few moons younger than you and I have Dawntail," he points out.

"Whatever," I sigh. "We're best friends, and that's all." He casts me a dubious look. "Can we just hunt now? We can't go back to camp empty-pawed."

He agrees, looking slightly unsatisfied with my reply, and we hunt for a while. By the time the two of us return to camp, each of us has two pieces of prey. Normally after we would hunt together before Darkfire joined the Clan, we would sit down to eat and share tongues. Now that I have Darkfire around, I usually eat and share tongues with her, especially since she doesn't care much for the gossip of other she-cats in the Clan and I don't listen to enough of it to relate it to her.

Since the dawn patrol had returned before we did, we went over to Darkfire, who was sitting with Dawntail, who was going on a later patrol, waiting for the two of us to join them. Darkfire has a half-eaten mouse at her paws and meows at me when I approach, "You can finish this. I'm not that hungry."

"Alright, thanks," I reply, grabbing it in my jaws to place it at my own feet. Meanwhile, Brackenheart and his mate had already begun grooming each other's fur.

"Dawntail, didn't you say you were hungry only a moment ago?" sighs my best friend.

"Oh, I'm not _that_ hungry," the light brown and white she-cat insists.

As Darkfire watches the two lovers with a strange look in her eyes, I dig into the half-eaten mouse that she had given me. I finish it in a few bites and look back up at my friends to see that the dark brown she-cat was looking at me strangely as well. I reply to the look with an inquiring stare.

"Redtail," she finally meows, "I have to tell you something."

"Sure. What is it?" I inquire.

"Excuse us," she says to our other two friends, who were now watching us curiously. "Follow me, Redtail."

I do as she asks, following her lead out of camp and to the area near the cliff, close to where she had found me that morning.

"Is everything alright?" I ask, feeling concerned by the detached look that was now in her eyes.

"No, it isn't," she sighs. I wait several heartbeats for her to continue. "Redtail, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm unhappy here. Would you hate me if I were to return to my former home?"

I froze for a moment and took a deep breath. I had not been expecting her to leave the Clan at any point. I knew that I wouldn't lie to her either. I finally reply, "No, I wouldn't. Still, why are you going to return to being a kittypet?"

"When I was a house cat," she meowed, using the term "house cat" instead of "kittypet" as usual, "I was lazy and spoiled, I know, but I didn't have to worry about sickness or other cats constantly teasing me." I instantly understand that she was referring to Goldenfur's frequent ridiculing. "I lived comfortably in the loving care of my Twolegs. I had a pleasant life, and I think I'd have a more pleasant life than I do right now if I return to my Twolegs."

"How long have you felt this way?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

"Oh, Redtail," she sighs, "I'm so sorry. I've wanted to leave for many moons. You're my best friend, and I was thinking when I saw Dawntail and Brackenheart that maybe I could even learn to love you, but I can't stay here. I'm miserable." At her mention that she could have loved me, I start.

"Darkfire, have you told any cat that you want to leave?"

"I haven't. I wanted to tell you first to see if you could make me stay."

"I can't."

"I figured you wouldn't be able to."

"No," I argue, "I can't make you stay so that you can be miserable. I'd love for you to stay, since you're my best friend too, but as your best friend, I'm telling you to leave."

Her pained expression at my words tears at my heart. "Redtail, you're a great cat," she tells me, her voice shaking with emotion. "It would have been nice to fall in love with you."

"Thanks," I murmur quietly.

"So it's official," she says. "I'm going to leave. I have to go announce this. I guess you should start calling me Mocha again," she tells me, referring to her kittypet name before she became Darkfire. She turns away as though she's going to start padding back to camp, but then turns back, leans forward, and licks my cheek. "If I had chosen to stay," she mumbles uncertainly, "do you suppose we could've ended up like Dawntail and Brackenheart?"

"I do," I reply honestly. Before I can see her expression, she's gone, sprinting back to camp to announce that she was going to leave us.

After that, I could never look at my brother, who is, in part, to blame for making my best friend want to leave, the same way. Darkfire – now Mocha – had been my best friend for moons. As her best friend, I knew it was best to let her go, and eventually I was able to think of her without regret, as someone that maybe I could have fallen in love with, given more time.

**This concludes my entry for WillowClan's Monthly Writing Challenge for July of 2013! The July prompt was as follows:**

"_You must have friendship, loyalty, and humor in your one-shot."_

**However, since humor in stories is generally a tad difficult to me, I started off with the scene of Goldenfur's teasing as the humorous part of it. If that didn't work… well, I tried. ._. The friendship and loyalty aspects were displayed by Darkfire and Redtail's relationship. He cared about her, his best friend, enough to let her go.**

**Also, I usually don't write in present-tense, but I haven't written much lately, so I wanted to try it and it turned out insanely difficult for me since I'm so used to writing everything in past-tense. Anyway, I did it! I also probably won't do it again in the future because it was terribly annoying. Sigh.**

**This took me quite a long time, so I really do hope you enjoyed reading it! Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think! :)**


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